I think women over 45 who are figuring out how to bring their dreams into the world have an opportunity to create a way of thinking that is an antidote to the systems that have gotten us to the current painful point on the planet. The extractive systems (which at its worst costs us the climate and actual other human beings sacrificed for output) and the hierarchical that determines who all that extraction benefits. And because we all benefit (in various ways and levels) from being good constituents of these systems rebellion feels dangerous.
Many women at this age that I talk to are sitting across a very uncomfortable divide in that they have helpful, beautiful things to bring into the world and they are also not at all interested in doing that in ways that will cost them the little wellness and wholeness they’ve been able to carve out during the challenges of their lives. They’ve hit empty before, they’ve managed to survive it, and everything in their existence will not let them go back there again. Many feel stuck from going forward with their dreams because there is no blueprint for what they need to do. They can see the trap if they execute their own dreams through the extractive system. And it’s scary to do things differently. That leaves you frozen, disconnected, or committing to the only thing that will make it possible: to build a new way.
We are being asked to create new ways of helping, achieving, and creating. Dreaming new pathways centred on your own consent to the actions you’ll take. Pathways that build trust and sovereignty within yourself for your own ability to make decisions, take action, or change course. Pathways that allow others to do the same without punitive consequences. Ways that have room for responding to the trauma within us and taking the time it takes to make ourselves feel safe before proceeding. It’s hard to imagine a world where you don’t lose by taking the time you need.
It is our responsibility and opportunity to take what we have been through, what we accomplished anyway, and figure out ways to lead through this world differently. To look at the generations behind us and know we have, imperfectly of course, hurt them less because we did not hurt ourselves.
This is the inspiration I am bringing with How to Give Yourself Permission. It’s a framework for imagining how to do what you dream of without hurting yourself or others. Join me there.