You don't have to betray yourself to grow.
Permission bridges the gap between trying things and listening to your fears.
One of the gaps in the world I am committed to bridging with How To Give Yourself Permission is the one between the common refrain of bear it and get on with it regardless and enthusiastically consenting to your own actions.
So much advice about doing things that are a stretch or scary for you have that tone—you’ve just got to do it. That’s the only way forward. Ignore the fear. Jump without giving it too much thought. It’s upsetting to me to see that language offered as well meaning advice. It’s usually offered around trying something you’ve never done before, advocating for yourself, or marketing yourself. But what’s the actual cost?
The cost is steep. Just doing it anyway can be self betrayal and overriding your own mind, instincts, and heart without consent. The result is no matter the outcome, you’ve achieved or failed by betraying a part of. yourself and you can’t build anything from there. Forcing yourself might get the one result you were after when it works, but in the long term it deepens your distrust of yourself and impacts your continued ability to take decisive action.
So what do we do instead?
How do we enthusiastically consent to our own actions?
Giving yourself permission is a decision. It’s the decision to bring your fears along with their eyes scrunched closed, clutching your hand. And sure it’s harder to move that way, but eventually, if you build trust inside yourself for your own care and protection you won’t even be conscious of the process. Giving yourself permission is thinking about what ways those scared parts are correct. It’s investigating what are the risks and why we might have historical fear about that. It’s listening and using all of that information to make your decision. Giving your self permission is deciding that even though we’re worried and scared.we are going to try something different because we want something different to happen.
Each decision makes you more of whole self rather than a little less. And that’s what we’re here to be.
Special Holiday Offer!
.From now through the new year everyone who becomes a paid supporter of Permission Granted will receive a complimentary copy of my audio course How to Give Yourself Permission ($25 value).
Have the audio on your phone or computer so anytime you need support to make and action the choices you long for it’s there for you. How to Give Yourself Permission helps with:
Understanding what’s holding you back with kindness and empathy.
Decluttering some of those reasons in your head about why you shouldn’t take action.
Deciding which size steps suit you and your nervous system right now.