Writing your own Game of Life rules
Let's stop setting ourselves up to fail against a list of what we have to achieve before we deserve to try for what we want.
Setting ourselves up to fail ourselves is such a tricksy little game that we have been taught to play without anyone every having overtly taught us it.
I mean that big To Do list in your head that somehow calculates your value and purpose and enoughness on the planet.
If you only finish this project…
When you get that promotion…
If you never ever forget anyone’s birthday or special occasion…
When your house is sparkling, your body groomed, all externals satisfied…
Then and only then will you deserve to have the life you are yearning for. It’s such a racket. Because the list never gets shorter only longer and the more efficient you get at the game the harder the levels get. YOU don’t just have to have decent hygiene, YOU have to look desirable, appropriate, and in the “right” body type. When I was younger I always thought I could win the game. And I completely broke myself in the effort. Then I realized the people who opted out of it early to go off and do their own thing were not excluded from the human experience like I feared. They could be happy, loved, less anxious, and they often actually achieved the things I dreamed of—travelling, writing a book, etc. (Not to say you can’t be unhappy, without love, and anxious and still create, but I think there is a secret voice inside many of us that says if we don’t fit in with societal expectations we can never be happy) I eventually managed to do all those things with great joy and enthusiasm. The more I learned to be myself in the world the more of my secret dreams I found I could attempt and do.
When you decide to make your own game of life rules you learn a couple of things.
You will want and need different things at different times. Sometimes it will give you pleasure to present yourself exquisitely. Sometimes you won’t even own a pair of hard pants because the life you are choosing requires caring for children or relatives or animals or a landscape or you just simply can’t bear them. Sometimes you might have itchy feet and travel for happiness. Other times you will want and need to be in one comforting spot that will help care for you while you are resting or growing or grieving.
All of your decisions are made in the present moment. Watch out for those tricksy whens and thens. And just because you wanted something before doesn’t mean you have to want it now. Just because you want something now doesn’t mean that’s your choice forever. Interrogate and make conscious choices about what you are willing to put off trying and for what. The answers are always going to be personal to you and no one else can tell you what the right one is.
Happy Life-ing! You’ve got this.
Want to know more about “How to Give Yourself Permission?” Download my short audio course today and begin the journey of being more kind to yourself while you learn to take action. https://www.slsourwine.com/howtogiveyourselfpermission