The road to Yes can come through No.
Idea generation and rejecting options.
We all do things easily that are soooo hard for others. My friend Tracy is the most brilliant administrator (She’s a powerful CEO these days). But she gets such satisfaction with saying this can be done and then does all the administration tasks that it requires to submit, ask, clarify, fix the bill etc with complete satisfaction. I watch her in wonder.
Me, that kind of action makes me freeze dead. Need to talk to the phone company because your bill was wrong? Could take 2 hours to 2 months for me to get over that. Usually once they cut off the phone if I haven’t paid. I have been alive long enough now to know this is a part of my operating system and I just do my best with it.
BUT what I can do is generate ideas and options like popcorn. If you give me details and where you think you are heading, my brain can give you 10 suggestions in minutes. I LOVE this part of me. I love sharing that you have options. The world we live in isn’t the best at encouraging people to think widely. And I have a pretty insatiable curiosity that lets me watch and investigate how different things are being done. My brain files away a lot of interesting things to pull out at just these moments! It comes really easy to me and I love helping you see how many choices you have. So if you need someone to just generate ideas I’m your person.
I especially love ideas you get to acknowledge you don’t have to do. The freedom that comes from considering and rejecting a pathway is enormous! Sometimes the road to Yes is built through No. Having some paths to say no to allows you to clearly commit to what you want to do. I’ve seen it so many times. Start with clearly rejecting options that exist, but of are no interest to you. Start with the most obvious “I’m never doing that” ones. I don’t know why it helps—I’m assuming it is conditioning somewhere—but I’m less interested in why we do it than how we move through it.
My first book A Little Book of Permission is my fun and creative list of all the things you don’t have to do. [If you subscribe to Permission Granted you get a free copy of the audio of it.] Starting with no is just a good way to start sometimes.
Let me know if I can help!
Susie
PS. Check out Resiliency Club or shoot me a message so we can discuss what might be right for you. If you want some quick help learning how to make decisions and take action check out my short audio course How to Give Yourself Permission.
"Sometimes the road to Yes is built through No." Thank you for this reminder.
As the writer behind The Yes Path, which would not have come to be without this “insatiable curiosity” you so generously impart, I am reminded that one of the more poignant lessons on this most recent leg of my journey was honing my discernment and ability to say No. Just flat out No. And “No more!!Enough already. Never again!!” Or… “Not yet!”Thank you for reminding all of us that nestled within our Yes is always our birthright option to say absolutely, unequivocally No! And that No opens up the channels of the most relevant and timely Yes. Appreciating you!