Perfectionism exists only in our minds.
If you fail to do something because it's not perfect, you're more afraid of yourself than the world.
A version of perfectionism is often the number one culprit for you not doing the thing you dream about—making art, saying what you think out loud, asking for what you need, or changing responsibility dynamics in your workplace or your home. Our brains tell us we will only be successful at those things if they are done perfectly.
But what is perfect?
It’s an idea YOU have in your own brain. It doesn’t actually exist in the world. No one agrees. That is perfection’s evil superpower you aren’t even paying attention to. When we let perfectionism stall or stop us from taking action we believe that it is something the outside world requires of us for success, but it’s not. We never know what is required on the outside until we start doing things and seeing how they go.
And the reason Perfectionism is soooo efficient at keeping you stuck? You know you’ll be awful to yourself if it doesn’t work instantly and magically so why bother.
As the brilliant Serena Hicks says—that’s what we are avoiding by not trying! We our avoiding our horrible inner judge who is terrifyingly mean to us. That’s what perfectionism is, you’re afraid of yourself even more than the world.
You aren’t avoiding the action; you are avoiding how mean you’ll be to yourself if it doesn’t work out.
We can’t opt out of perfectionism if we are going to be awful to ourselves if we screw up. That’s what we are avoiding by not trying!!!
There are a whole bunch of reasons that helped you fill your inner voice with shame and criticism about your very being not just what you do. We can’t just think our way to “failure is safe for me now.” We have nervous system work to do with that. We actually do feel unsafe. And we can never railroad over that to “just do it” no matter what Nike used to say.
So next time you stop yourself from taking action because the font isn’t perfect or your hair isn’t done or your body isn’t “right,” spend a few moments instead thinking about how you can make yourself feel safe, even if things don’t work out.
Want to know more about “How to Give Yourself Permission?” Download my short audio course today and begin the journey of being more kind to yourself while you learn to take action. https://www.slsourwine.com/howtogiveyourselfpermission