How to take the first step.

What's in the way of taking action towards your dream?

One of the things that breaks my heart in the world is when you are so clear about what you dream about doing and haven’t done it. You probably talk about it all the time. You might buy all the things that you will need when you do it. You research it and low level stalk other people who have done it. (Yes you did, you didn’t want to be their friend you wanted to do what they did. It’s ok to admit that.) You take steps 5-20, but never the first, and convince yourself you are going to get there eventually.

But something stops you taking the first step. The one where you buy a plane ticket or give your notice at work or make an offer or sit down to write your book.

And listen if you weren’t supposed to try to do it you would be able to set it down. Lots of us fall for dreams and schemes for a little while and buy the candle making kit or the mitre saw or the cross country skis. The enthusiasm is short lived and you should probably sell the acquisitions much earlier than you eventually do. But I’m not talking about those little joys of imagining a different self. I’m talking about the thing that eats at you. The one that sometimes you ignore too long and it gets angry and jealous. The dream that fills your heart with so much longing it radiates down your arms.

So what do you do? Some of us have to sort our heads out a bit before we can take action.

1. Admit that you aren’t actually on your way just yet. (This one is really hard and hug yourself from me if you get here.). Acknowledge that the next actions you want to take are the ones that start your journey, not the ones that make you think you are on it. This is one of those simple but not easy things. Take a breath. Take your time. Hint this is what you need to do if your reaction to this point was anger.

2. Get curious. Look at a few reasons that might resonate for you for why you are stuck here.

   1. Trauma check. Could something from your past be against this action even though it’s what you are dreaming about? Do you need to talk it through with a professional? In How to Give Yourself Permission I always talk about pulling up a chair for our trauma. It is part of us. It is not wrong from its perspective of trying to protect you. Sometimes we just need to get all of our selves moving in the same direction.

   2. Consequences. What do you believe the consequences of doing it are? In reality and totally imaginary. What ones are stopping you? If you disagree with the ideas how can you change your thoughts about it? Sometimes it’s as simple as meeting the thought consciously each time it arises and saying to yourself. “I’m going to try anyway” or “why not me?”

   3. Resources. Lots of dreams cost money and a lot of us are struggling. So if the only thing holding you back from taking steps towards your dream are resources then you need to add more steps to the journey. Your first step wouldn’t be book the ticket, but maybe save all the bottle recycling money (if that’s a thing where you are or extra work or thrifting resells or birthday cash—whatever suits you) to cover the ticket. It’s so annoying, but when we start taking actions like this there is room for the universe to support you too. Each $1 you are clear about will feel so good.

      And I know what it’s like to be broke and scraping for groceries and bills. Everything big like your dream seems impossible. And sometimes you have to start 50 times. But if you still can’t set the idea of your dream down keep going. You deserve it. I wish it was easier for more of us. But a lottery win is a fabulous surprise and not a plan. Keep going. Take a break if you need to. You know that dream of yours isn’t going to stay quiet for long. You can trust it to be there.

I am so passionate about people bringing what they dream into the world. I’ve gotten to do a lot of it and it’s been fucking wonderful. I know that if more of us were doing what we loved and dreamed the world would be a healthier and more gentle place.

As always if you want some help and support you can grab my audio course How to Give Yourself Permission with more on tackling the things that get in your way and taking action towards your dreams. I also do private sessions if you want to talk it through. You’ve got this!