Being the leading lady in your own life.
We don’t often get control of what happens to and around us in this world. But we can often be in control of how we respond to it.
The thing inside the thing of Permission is the power and soveriegnty that is claimed every time we make a decision about our lives. That’s it, the big reason I do this. I don’t want to rule the world or have women rule the world, I just don’t want whole swathes of the population to believe they don’t have a say in their own lives.
We can’t travel in time and make the teaching we were given about how to best serve the society we live in with our silence and lack of preference, but we can, choice by choice, put ourselves into the driver’s seat of our own lives. Even if it’s just for a few minutes at a time. I honestly believe the world will change for the better for everyone when we get better at making conscious decisions.
I get texts and emails all the time that simultaneously make me proud and break my heart. They are usually from friends and they are frozen and upset about something that has happened to them or someone they love and they are trying to navigate it. Their work has been stolen, they’ve been groped or ogled, someone has made them incredibly uncomfortable in an inappropriate way, bullied… hundreds of things.
What breaks my heart is how fucking often it is. That I’ve been having these conversations and experiences myself for over 40 years (yes I’m starting at 10—probably should be earlier). My heart breaks a bit for myself too if I’m honest, that I’ve experienced such a wide breadth of this idiocy that I’m a resource.
And what makes me proud is that everyone is looking for something to be different. Even if they froze in the moment, even if they are so afraid, each of them is asking to be supported while they figure out how to claim their power back and shift the balance so they can breathe again. They remember there is always more than one choice about what to do—there are always so many more than you think! I love the moment when they make the conscious choice and take the action they want. (No action is a valid choice too. I know how unsafe it can be out there). I love how themselves my friends sound when they tell me how it went.
We don’t often get control of what happens to and around us in this world. But we can often be in control of how we respond to it. Sexism, fragile egos, and dirty power plays aren’t going away anytime soon. We aren’t responsible for that and we don’t have to be surprised by it.
What we can do is channel the powerful Maya Angelou and say “not in my house.” That stuff doesn’t need to get to thrive in your presence by always making you silent. If we can consciously choose how we want to be and what we want to do in light of what has happened, our lives and the world around us can only improve. We begin to create the life you want to lead and the world you want to see. Give yourself permission to remember that you get to choose how you respond to what happens.
You’ll make the best choice you can and then you’ll keep going.
You’ve got this.
Want to know more about “How to Give Yourself Permission?” Download my short audio course today and begin the journey of being more kind to yourself while you learn to take action. https://www.slsourwine.com/howtogiveyourselfpermission